dynamics of gay sex

Ok I hear a lot of stuff about gay sex, people are for it or against it but they don’t seem to say much about the dynamics of the way it actually works. So I thought I would give my un-scientific, uneducated, un-expert information to you right now.

If you are gay man, it works like this: you stick your penis in your partners butt. That’s it people, F’d in the A. Is this a bad thing? If you are receiving, yes; if you are giving, no.  As a straight man how do I know this?, Simple, I had an exam at the proctologist before my colonoscopy (everyone should get them to screen for cancer) & he stuck a huge scope up my bum to look around & it was not pleasant. It only lasted for a minute or so & I could not wait for him to get that thing out of there. So, there is the receiving part. Now I have had a few women who have let me take the backdoor route if you know what I mean & it was not too bad. So, there is the giving part.

If you are a gay women, then I am not quite sure. I am assuming that they do some sort of fingering / scissoring / licking / cunniligus / humping / kissing type of thing that I do not have any idea about. I do know that it is probably not anything close to the stuff we watch in the lesbian scenes in all of those stupid pornos we watch. Whatever it is, it’s probably awesome, I mean come on is there anything more beautiful than the female vagina? Its soft & warm with folds of luscious skin. It’s quite the thing of beauty. The penis is not bad, but it’s got those goofy hairy balls hanging around. But the vagina is a work of art that women should be proud of. If I was a woman I would be a lesbian.

My point is, the unspoken mechanics of gay sex is scaring the hell out of homophobic people. So everyone just say it out loud. Gay men do it in the butt, gay women lick each others vag. It’s not so bad when you say it. Then after you say it you have to say one more thing. It’s not about the mechanics, it’s about love.

The only people in the LGBT/CBIH fight who care about sex are the crazy bigoted intolerant homophobes. The gay side just wants to be left alone so they can find love, marriage, relationships & try to be happy just like everyone. Who cares who they choose to love? You didn’t check with them to see if it was OK to love your partner, did you?  I didn’t think so.